The new rankings are here! The new rankings are here!
The 2016 Canadian Grand Prix is in the books and after a good start, the race settled into the usual predictable pattern of watching two or three cars run away from the rest of the pack. In this case it was the Mercedes of eventual winner Lewis Hamilton and Ferrari of runner-up Sebastian Vettel.
The main drama of the race occurred right at the start when Vettel, from his second row position, leapt past the twin Mercedes of Hamilton and his teammate, Nico Rosberg in the first row as if they were standing still. The surprise and decisive maneuver caught the pair of Mercedes so off guard that they ran into each other trying to react late. That gave Vettel a huge lead halfway into the first lap, a lead which he partially squandered by missing a turn and allowing Hamilton to close within a couple seconds of him
Still, even with that mistake, Vettel was able to hold the lead for the first 12 laps before his pit decided to bring him in early in a tactical maneuver that backfired. Hamilton stayed out for another 12 laps and when he finally came in for his pit stop, it was to be his only one of the race, allowing him to outlast Vettel until the finish line on a battle of worn tires. The third podium position was claimed by Williams’ Valtteri Bottas. Top points go to the drivers in that order.
The Pastor Maldonado Driving School Award was up for grabs while The Russian Hitman, Daniil Kvyat, was taking it easy this race. That left the field wide open and it was Rosberg who would finally snag the week’s trophy after finally getting frustrated with the blocking tactics of teenager Max Verstappen and passing his ass on the last lap only to spin himself out in the process.
The Kimi Raikkonen “Leave Me Alone! I Know What I’m Doing!” Award goes, once again, to Raikkonen himself as he admonishes his pit for telling him to take it easy by responding – “I cannot take it easy! I have these guys behind me!”
Finally, the Lewis Hamilton Doofus Moment Award also goes to its namesake as Hamilton quotes Bundini Brown and Muhammad Ali with their classic “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee” line after winning the race as a “tribute” to Ali. As Howard Cosell would say, of all the words he could have uttered, this imbecile poseur presented the ultimate effrontery to masquerade these as his own. What a travesty.
2016 ASN Formula 1 Driver Rankings [after Canadian Grand Prix]
1] Nico Rosberg – 12 points
2] Lewis Hamilton/Sebastian Vettel – six points
4] Fernando Alonso/Kimi Raikkonen/Max Verstappen – three points
7] Sergio Perez/Carlos Sainz, Jr. – two points
9] Valtteri Bottas/Jenson Button/Romain Grosjean/Daniil Kvyat/Stoffel Vandoorne – one point
The Pastor Maldonado Driving School Award [after Canadian Grand Prix]
1] Kvyat – two points
2] Alonso/Bottas/Hamilton/Hulkenberg/Rosberg – one point
The Kimi Raikkonen “Leave Me Alone! I Know What I’m Doing! Award [after Canadian Grand Prix]
1] Raikkonen – two points
2] Button/Kvyat/Ricciardo/Rosberg/Vettel – one point
The Lewis Hamilton Doofus Moment Award
1] Hamilton – three points
2] Bernie Ecclestone – two points
3] F1 Stewards/Ricciardo pit