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ASN’s 2016 Formula One Driver’s Standings After Malaysian Grand Prix

The Malaysian Grand Prix is all over and there was actual excitement in a Formula One race this time as the race did not involve a Mercedes running away with the victory – or even winning it for that matter. Red Bull’s Daniel Ricciardo won the race with his teammate Max Verstappen in second – both being the beneficiaries of the over-zealousness of Ferrari’s Sebastian Vettel at the race start and Mercedes’ Lewis Hamilton’s misfortunes. Vettel had a magnificent start but then got greedy and tried to leapfrog from fifth all the way to second on the first corner, taking out Mercedes’ Nico Rosberg in the attempt. Rosberg, however, would eventually clamber back to claim the third and final podium position.

The race win was a gift for Ricciardo as, after the race start theatrics, Hamilton was running away with the impending victory and most likely retaking the season points standings lead until disaster hit on Lap 42 of the 56-lap race and his Mercedes engine kicked the bucket. With Hamilton out, all Ricciardo had to do was stave off Verstappen and that turned out to be no problem. ASN awards top points to Ricciardo for the gifted race win, second place points to Rosberg for scrapping back to claim third and a single point for Verstappen, who was fortunate to even be close to sniffing Ricciardo’s shoe.

The Pastor Maldonado Driving School Award must go to Vettel as he initially made a wonderful move – then promptly made a mess of it trying to overtake too many cars in the single move.

The Kimi Raikkonen “Leave Me Alone! I Know What I’m Doing!” Award goes to Verstappen for his over-the-top and obvious teenager-y reaction [after the Ferrari drivers had legitimately complained about his wild driving in previous races] to Vettel’s move – “Really, Sebastian is crazy. He fucking smashed into Rosberg like an idiot!”

The Lewis Hamilton Doofus Moment Award was a close battle between its namesake, Hamilton, whining in the post-race about how the universe is out to get him and the government of Malaysia – but ASN goes with the gub’ment of Malaysia after they arrested the so-called “Budgie Nine” for their choice of Speedo attire and being a little too enthusiastic in their celebration Ricciardo’s win.

2016 ASN F1 Driver Standings [After Malaysia]

1] Nico Rosberg – 29 points
2] Lewis Hamilton – 19 points
3] Sebastian Vettel – 14 points
4] Daniel Ricciardo – seven points
5] Kimi Raikkonen – six points
6] Max Verstappen – five points
7] Fernando Alonso/Sergio Perez – three points
9] Jenson Button/Carlos Sainz, Jr. – two points
11] Valtteri Bottas/Romain Grosjean/Nico Hulkenberg/Daniil Kvyat/Stoffel Vandoorne – one point

The Pastor Maldonado Driving School Award [after Malaysia]

1] Rosberg – three points
2] Hamilton/Kvyat/Verstappen – two points
5] Alonso/Bottas/Hulkenberg/Palmer/Vettel/Wehrlein – one point

The Kimi Raikkonen “Leave Me Alone! I Know What I’m Doing! Award [after Malaysia]

1] Hamilton/Raikkonen – three points
3] Ricciardo/Vettel – two points
5] Alonso/Button/Kvyat/Rosberg/Verstappen/Wehrlein – one point

The Lewis Hamilton Doofus Moment Award [after Malaysia]

1] Hamilton – four points
2] Bernie Ecclestone – three points
3] Brazilian kidnappers/F1 Stewards/Force India pit [Perez]/Malaysia/Mercedes/Red Bull pit [Ricciardo]/Renault pit [Palmer]/Singapore/Verstappen – one point

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