The official 2015 ASN Driver Rankings have been updated to reflect the 2015 Italian Grand Prix – which we are calling the Save Monza From Bernie Grand Prix [for the obvious reasons]. The Save Monza From Bernie Grand Prix is held at, of course, the famed Monza track in Italy which Formula One chief crusty barnacle Bernie Ecclestone has been subtly threatening with ditching on future F1 racing schedules. Fortunately, most people have sided with Ferrari’s Sebastian Vettel who implied, in a post-race interview after the Fat, Hairy Belgian Grand Prix, that Bernie was an idiot for even considering tossing Monza off the F1 schedule.
As for the race, barring a mechanical issue or crash, the only way to prevent a Mercedes runaway in a Formula One race in 2015 has become clear – you have to get out in front of them on the first lap – as has been proven in previous races this year. The chances of this happening at the 2015 Save Monza From Bernie Grand Prix appeared to have improved with Ferrari’s Sebastian Vettel and Kimi Raikkonen sitting alongside and behind the Mercedes of Lewis Hamilton in the starting grid. But Hamilton got what was probably the best start of the year for him and only had to fend off Vettel after Raikkonen stalled. Once he successfully deflected Vettel’s attempt in the first corner, the race for the win was over and the only remaining drama was for the second and third and places on the podium.
But as Hamilton held first through the entire race, Vettel held on to second for the entirety as well, after Hamilton’s Mercedes teammate, Nico Rosberg, got briefly stuck behind the prone Raikkonen at the race start, and that allowed both Mercedes-powered Williams cars of Felipe Massa and Valtteri Bottas to get in front of him – where they stymied his progress until late in the race when he finally forged his way into the third position and began trying to track down Vettel in second. But Rosberg, who was operating on a backup engine, had that engine fail on him with two laps to go as he was closing the gap on Vettel – eliminating him from both the podium and the points – and gifting the third and final place on the podium to Massa.
Early race casualties were only three – and they were the three who have emerged as the most energetic contenders for the Pastor Maldonado Driving School Award – Maldonado himself, his Lotus teammate Romain Grosjean and Red Bull Toro Rosso teenager Max Verstappen after a first corner kerfuffle led to some demolition derby-style driving and provided the only real dramatics for the race. Verstappen actually stayed in the race – only incurring a drive-through penalty for his role in the shenanigans – but Maldonado and Grosjean, comically took themselves out in the first lap.
As Hamilton and Vettel pulled away from the field, the only events that vaguely qualified as drama occurred when Manor/Marussia’s Roberto Merhi nearly rear-ended Raikkonen as both entered pit lane for a pit stop and Massa tamely held off his teammate Bottas for the final podium position. McLaren’s Fernando Alonso’s late-race retirement was a sleep-inducing finale.
As for the racing, it is a rare 1-2-3 point distribution that mirrors the actual race finish as Hamilton gets the top points for the 2015 Save Monza From Bernie Grand Prix for, essentially, getting a good start and not crashing, while Vettel gets points for about the same thing and Massa is awarded his single point for fending off Bottas.
For the awards, as mentioned earlier, the only contenders for the Pastor Maldonado Driving School Award are Verstappen, Grosjean and Maldonado himself, after that first lap corner kerfuffle. Since Grosjean and Maldonado were both knocked out of the race on that first lap and Verstappen stayed in the race, AutoSportsNation has decided to split the point between Grosjean and Maldonado as the only fair way to assess the situation. This ensures that Maldonado and his Lotus teammate Grosjean still maintain the season lead.
As this was yet another Mercedes blowout victory, there was not expected to be much race chatter and there was not until the late stages of the race – with Hamilton holding a comfortable 22-second cushion – when Hamilton’s pit suddenly began imploring him to push it as hard as he could in the final laps with the typical, engineer-speak admonishment “Don’t ask questions. Just execute.” – in anticipation of a possible tire-inflation penalty assessment at the end of the race. This, of course, was good enough to get the Kimi Raikkonen “Leave Me Alone, I Know What I’m Doing!” Award for the 2015 Save Monza From Bernie Grand Prix.
Meanwhile, the Lewis Hamilton Doofus Moment Award for the 2015 Save Monza From Bernie Grand Prix has to once again go to its namesake as Hamilton stood in a lengthy lineup of his fellow drivers – all of whom had taken off their hats in a moment of silence for recently deceased IndyCar driver, Justin Wilson – and yet somehow failed to notice this fact while keeping his hat on in backward fashion along with his earphones still encased in his ears, then offering a lame post-race excuse that he was focused and listening to his music and did not realize that the reason that all the drivers were standing in a line and being quiet was because of a photo op. With another point here, Hamilton still holds a commanding lead in his signature award category.
The 2015 Formula One season continues with the Singapore Grand Prix at Sepang at 5 a.m. [PDT] on NBCSN on September 20, 2015.
The 2015 ASN Formula One Driver Standings [after the Save Monza From Bernie Grand Prix]
1] Sebastian Vettel – 22 points
2] Lewis Hamilton – 17 points
3] Nico Rosberg – six points
4] Valtteri Bottas – five points
5] Kimi Raikkonen – four points
6] Romain Grosjean/Felipe Massa – three points
7] Fernando Alonso/Jenson Button/Nico Hulkenberg/Daniil Kvyat/Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen – two points
13] Sergio Perez – one point
The 2015 Pastor Maldonado Driving School Award Standings [after the Save Monza From Bernie Grand Prix]
1] Grosjean/Maldonado – 2.5 points
2] Bottas pit crew/Marcus Ericsson/Hamilton/Hamilton pit/Raikkonen/Raikkonen pit/Ricciardo – one point
The 2015 Kimi Raikkonen Leave Me Alone I Know What I’m Doing Award Standings [after the Save Monza From Bernie Grand Prix]
1] Hamilton – 4.5 points
2] Rosberg – 2.5 points
3] Bottas/Button/Hamilton pit/Ricciardo pit/Will Stevens – one point
The 2015 Lewis Hamilton Doofus Moment Award [after the Save Monza From Bernie Grand Prix]
1] Hamilton – five points
2] Bernie Ecclestone/Vettel – two points
3] Alonso/Christian Horner/Team McLaren – one point
