The official 2015 ASN Driver Rankings have been updated to reflect the 2015 Canadian Grand Prix – which we are calling the Marmot Grand Prix [due to the appearance of a marmot on the track in the latter stages of the race – providing the highest level of excitement for the day]. The Canadian Grand Prix is all about three things – power, not running into walls and negotiating hairpin turns – although this year, a fourth element was introduced – avoiding marauding marmots.
Once again, the pair of Mercedes in the front row took off from everybody else – in this case, it was defending champion Lewis Hamilton who took off from his pole position and was mostly never being seen again except to check in and see if his teammate, Nico Rosberg, had closed the gap between him from three seconds to two seconds or four seconds to three seconds – yes, it was that kind of excitement that had viewing audiences riveted to their seats and drooling with excitement for the majority of the race.
As if that were not bad enough, the first half of the race provided virtually no entertainment value whatsoever – very few passes as the cars stretched themselves out along the circuit, no early retirements and perhaps worst of all – no inane driving decisions by Lotus’ Pastor Maldonado, who actually finished the race – and in the Top 10! So, with no Maldonado-isms, it was left to his Lotus teammate Romain Grosjean to pick up the slack [we can only assume this must be in their contract – one driver has to make a stupid decision per race or else their pay gets docked]. Grosjean was coming into the pits at the same time as Manor-Marussia’s Will Stevens on Lap 50 but because the Manor-Marussia cars race about the same speed as VW Samba Bus, Grosjean was annoyed at having to slow down so much for the pit lane entry and decided he would jump Stevens’ car before entering the pit lane – but that poor decision was followed by an even poorer decision – or lack of spatial ability – and he clipped Stevens’ front wing in the process of cutting him off before entering the pit lane – incurring a penalty from the race stewards who, even though they speak French, were not amused.
That constituted the only drama with the exception of Kimi Raikkonen spinning himself out on the hairpin Turn 10 – and subsequently blaming his pit crew for putting too much torque in his car during the preceding pit stop – and charting Sebastian Vettel’s gradual climb up the grid ladder after starting in the 18th position due to engine problems and a penalty during the first qualifying session last week.
Vettel eventually stormed through the field – frightening both Nico Hulkenberg and Maldonado off the track on two occasions – and wound up fifth on the day. For that monumental effort, Vettel has been awarded the driving trophy for the 2015 Canadian Grand Prix with second place going to Williams’ Valtteri Bottas, who took advantage of Raikkonen’s spinout to claim – and, more importantly, hold – third place for Williams’ first podium finish of the year. Third place goes to the race winner Hamilton for a] winning the race, b] not getting bored to tears and driving off the track whilst falling asleep at the wheel and c] not hitting a marmot. Vettel now pads his lead over Hamilton in the season standings.
For the awards, it was the rare race where Maldonado was clear thinking for the entire race, so naturally, his teammate had to step up for him to fill the void as Grosjean claims the coveted Pastor Maldonado Driving School Award with his California freeway driving move of cutting off Manor-Marussia’s little old lady from Pasadena car of Will Stevens’ car as they both approached the pit lane. That point for Grosjean vaults the Frenchman into a tie with his teammate, Maldonado, for the season lead. All we need now is an actual in-race battle between the pair to settle the score – or, if it remains tied at the end of the year – we may have to rename it the Pastor Grosjean or Romain Maldonado Driving School Award.
Radio transmissions were mostly benign – mirroring the race itself – so there was not much interesting rapport in the battle for the Kimi Raikkonen “Leave Me Alone, I Know What I’m Doing!” Award until Stevens gave his assessment of Grosjean cutting him off and running into him with a somewhat predictable – “Where does he want me to go – off the track? He does that all the time.” Hamilton maintains the season lead for this award.
We have now gone two successive races with good post-race behavior, making it necessary to be nit-picky about the winner of the Lewis Hamilton Doofus Moment Award – especially since Hamilton decided not to run over the first-place parking board this week. So, with a lean selection at the salad bar, it looks like McLaren’s Fernando Alonso will have to get the nod for making an in-race comment about his team “looking like amateurs” for having the audacity to save fuel and then having to back off that sentiment in the post-race interviews. Hamilton still owns a commanding lead in his signature award category.
The 2015 Formula One season continues with the Austrian Grand Prix at the Red Bull Ring in Spielberg at 5 a.m. [PDT] on NBCSN on June 21, 2015.
The 2015 ASN Formula One Driver Standings [after the Marmot Grand Prix]
1] Sebastian Vettel – 15 points
2] Lewis Hamilton – eight points
3] Valtteri Bottas – five points
4] Kimi Raikkonen – four points
5] Nico Rosberg – three points
6] Jenson Button/Daniil Kvyat/Max Verstappen – two points
9] Romain Grosjean – one point
The 2015 Pastor Maldonado Driving School Award Standings [after the Marmot Grand Prix]
1] Grosjean/Maldonado – two points
2] Marcus Ericsson/Kimi Raikkonen’s pit crew/Lewis Hamilton’s pit crew – one point
The 2015 Kimi Raikkonen Leave Me Alone I Know What I’m Doing Award Standings [after the Marmot Grand Prix]
1] Hamilton – three points
2] Rosberg – two points
3] Daniel Ricciardo pit crew/Will Stevens – one point
The 2015 Lewis Hamilton Doofus Moment Award [after the Marmot Grand Prix]
1] Hamilton – three points
2] Fernando Alonso/Bernie Ecclestone/Christian Horner/Vettel – one point