Well, the 2016 German Grand Prix, one of the most boringest Formula One races of the season – right up there with Azerbaijan – was completed at Hockenheim last weekend and yes, it was yet another Mercedes snoozefest. In fact, it was so sleep-inducing that we just now woke up to update the 2016 AutoSportsNation Formula One driver standings – and we can assure you that the results will be just as surprising as the race outcome.
About that race – it was over in the first five seconds – as pole-sitter Nico Rosberg completely wheelspun whiffed his start and that handed the lead to his teammate and defending champion, Lewis Hamilton, who promptly took off unchallenged, never to be seen again. A yawning 70 laps later, Hamilton had won, followed by the Red Bull duo of Daniel Ricciardo and Max Verstappen – and Rosberg had finished fourth after unnecessarily driving Verstappen off the track and incurring a penalty that Mercedes then botched and blamed on a faulty stopwatch.
Needless to say, top points were awarded to Hamilton and then Ricciardo but the final point goes to Nico Hulkenberg who provided the viewing audience with their only bit of in-race drama as his Force India car was the only non-Mercedes/Red Bull/Ferrari car to finish on the lead lap in nearly a month. Congratulations Nico – and spend your point wisely.
The Pastor Maldonado Driving School Award is a no-brainer – going to Rosberg for both botching his start and then making it worse by clearly driving off Verstappen in a corner when it was unnecessary and he undoubtedly could have passed him later in the race without any drama. Pastor would be proud of you, Nico.
The Kimi Raikkonen “Leave Me Alone! I Know What I’m Doing” Award goes to Ricciardo, who – unnecessarily – smugly commented about whiny Haas bottom marker Esteban Gutierrez as he passed him – “I just love this guy. He’s my favorite.”
The Lewis Hamilton Doofus Moment Award was a nail-biter between the Brazilian kidnappers of Bernie Ecclestone’s mother-in-law and Mercedes pit stop stopwatch fiasco but ASN eventually had to make an executive decision and it had to be the Brazilian kidnappers because, truly, what were they thinking!? It is Bernie who should be kidnapped and prevented from running Formula One! C’mon! Any kidnapper knows that.
2016 ASN Formula One Driver Standings [after German Grand Prix]
1] Nico Rosberg – 19 points
2] Lewis Hamilton – 18 points
3] Sebastian Vettel – eight points
4] Kimi Raikkonen – five points
5] Max Verstappen – four points
6] Fernando Alonso/Sergio Perez/Daniel Ricciardo – three points
9] Jenson Button/Carlos Sainz, Jr. – two points
11] Valtteri Bottas/Romain Grosjean/Nico Hulkenberg/Daniil Kvyat/Stoffel Vandoorne – one point
2016 Pastor Maldonado Driving School Award [after German Grand Prix]
1] Rosberg – three points
2] Kvyat – two points
3] Alonso/Bottas/Hamilton/Hulkenberg/Jolyon Palmer/Raikkonen/Pascal Wehrlein – one point
2016 Kimi Raikkonen “Leave Me Alone! I Know What I’m Doing!” Award [after German Grand Prix]
1] Hamilton/Raikkonen/Ricciardo/Vettel – two points
5] Button/Kvyat/Rosberg/Wehrlein – one point
2016 Lewis Hamilton Doofus Moment Award [after German Grand Prix]
1] Bernie Ecclestone/Hamilton – three points
3] Brazilian kidnappers/F1 stewards/Force India pit – Perez/Red Bull pit – Ricciardo/Renault pit – Palmer/Mercedes – one point